November 2024

Meet Louisville’s Leading Lady, Above all a Survivor

RaeShanda Johnson is a lot of things; author, entrepreneur, stylist, and motivational speaker, but above all, she is a survivor. RaeShanda volunteers her time and resources to Women Shelters where she inspires many. She also contributes to readiness projects such as Dress for Success. There are many obstacles that she has had to overcome to be the successful mogul she is today but has triumphed with grace. She shares her courageous story with us.

“I’ve had some dark days. If I can survive that, I’m no longer afraid to fail or fall”
RaeShanda was a young military member, wife, and mother that found herself in a hostile situation that is not so uncommon for many women. She was in a domestic violence relationship.

RaeShanda’s Interview

The Lyfe… What were some of your emotional and internal struggles that you experienced during this situation?

RaeShanda…Things will try to break you. I asked, “Why me?” Living within a situation where domestic violence is present is traumatic, and I didn’t want for me or my children to live in fear. I wanted to give my children some kind of normalcy. I didn’t want a failed marriage. I had to face some hard decisions like knowing that leaving meant I would have to live off one income and agree to take on the role of becoming a single parent.

The Lyfe…In so many instances where domestic violence is present, there are red flags and indicators to be aware of that may be indicative of a dangerous situation. Were there red flags for you?
“There are always red flags, follow your gut instinct”

RaeShanda…Yes, there were for me, two in particular. Pay attention to tone, and following my gut instinct.

The Lyfe…Did you have people around you that were aware of your situation that could help you?

RaeShanda…Yes I had a support system. I lived in Texas at the time so I was away from my immediate family. I was fortunate to have had coworkers and friends as my inner circle that were aware of my situation. They would call me and check on me, which was a blessing to have people to support you and be concerned and reactive when it comes to your well-being. We also tried couples counseling and therapy, but it just didn’t feel right anymore.

“Don’t stay in something not good for you”

The Lyfe…How were you able to exit the situation, and how did it end?

RaeShanda…I just reached a decision that this marriage and this living situation was not working, and it wasn’t going to work. I had a conversation with my ex-husband letting him know that I just could no longer do it. He agreed to leave our home. In December of 2004, I left Texas and moved back home to Mississippi. It was a humbling experience to move back.

The Lyfe…What did the next chapter of your life look like after deciding to move on?

RaeShanda…I made a plan. I received a job offer in Chicago that I accepted. I left my children behind with my family. Before relocating my children, I did the math and realized that wage vs. cost of living in Chicago was much different than in Mississippi especially when you have to consider raising a family. I accepted a job offer in Mississippi, where I could stretch my dollar further.

The Lyfe…There are emotional scars attained whenever abuse happens. Sometimes we can’t ever receive closure from the abuser. You took great strides in progressing your life, but emotionally how did you heal?

RaeShanda…I had to tell myself that it is okay to survive, and I had to forgive. Forgiveness is for you, not for them. It’s how you move forward. Non-forgiveness makes you hold on to the bitterness and poison.
“Give yourself permission to hit the reset button”

The Lyfe...What advice would you share with someone that is experiencing or has experienced domestic violence?

RaeShanda…Find your strength. You have to know and remind yourself that you are worth it and that it’s okay to be the exception. Make a timeline and set goals. Most importantly, celebrate the fact that you got out!

The Lyfe…How did All Is Fair in Love and Fashion come to life and what does it mean?

RaeShanda…After hurricane Katrina, I had to leave Mississippi. I relocated to Frankfort then Louisville Kentucky. All Is Fair is more than just clothing it’s a women’s empowerment through fashion. In working with women to style them I see a lot of self-esteem issues, inside of the dressing room women really become more than just physically undressed, so building esteem, promoting positive attributes and helping women to embrace and love themselves is what I am here to do.

To be a part of the AIF community, browse and shop at shopaif.com

Show this leading lady some love and support as she continues to uplift and empower by following her on Facebook at All s Fair in Love and Fashion. Check out her amazing ability to style to the nines from everyday fabulous to gorgeous evening glam. To really help get yourself refocused and centered, her book “A Diva’s Guide to God: Finding God in the Girliest Places” is a great read.

In 2005, The Black Dot campaign was a movement to help prevent and end Domestic Violence. The Black Dot Campaign enables victims who cannot verbally ask for help except for with a simple black dot. Please be aware and recognize this and prepared to call the police to get help. This is a campaign to help the most vulnerable victims of Domestic Violence.

Also, see the community on Facebook.

All looks for this article have been provided by All Is Fair in Love and Fashion.

The Lyfe Magazine and Pleasures Intimate Luxury Bar are proud supporters of preventing and ending domestic violence.

Do you and your partner have a Date Night from time to time? Are you too tired because work or life in general, keeps you busy during the week? Couples are busy every day, and some do not spend time with their significant other. When is the last time you planned a date night with your mate?

A couple having date night at least once a week will establish a healthy bond. So why don’t you spice it up a bit, go out, spend time together and enjoy your mate. Many couples do not go out because they just don’t have any extra money; but, you don’t need money in order to enjoy one another. Date night can be happily spent at home, enjoying a nice glass of wine, and playing a game of monopoly. Laughter brings joy and happiness, and will spice up any relationship.

Spend time has best friends

Have you ever been through the ups and downs of a relationship? A date night will help you to achieve a great bond. If you spend some time together as best friends, enjoying each other’s company, this can create:

1. Trust & Loyalty – Spending quality time with your mate builds trust. Sharing stories and learning more about one another encourages unity.
2. Sense of Closeness – Quality time spent will help a couple grow closer spiritually, as well as emotionally, and the intimacy will grow, gracefully.
3. Laughter– Laughter is always needed in a relationship. It takes away any negative tension, and happiness is the key towards building a healthy relationship.
4. Fun– No matter how long you’ve been together, find ways to keep the relationship spicy. Never take one another for granted.
5. Pray – Have you ever heard the saying, “a family that prays together, stays together?” I believe prayer can help any relationship. An enthusiastic couple, excited about spending quality time praying together, and enjoying one another will build a healthy relationship.

Life is too short for couples to take one another for granted. A couple does not always have to spend money to enjoy life. Keep the communication open, and plan your dates. This will bring so much joy and happiness and will also save a relationship on the rocks.

Plan your date night in advance, and if you cannot make it, have a backup plan.

Here are a few date night ideas:

1. Enjoy a nice restaurant with a dance floor: Eat dinner and dance the night away.
2. Watch a few movies at home with popcorn, drinks, and food. Laugh the night away while watching a comedy, or your favorite movie.
3. Go to an amusement park or your favorite museum. Walk around holding hands. Enjoying life together can create a special bond.
4. Play good music. Enjoy a nice beverage while listening to your favorite slow jams. Nice slow music puts you in a special mood to dance, communicate, and build something great in the relationship.
5. Go shopping: Enjoy the day out walking, talking, and sightseeing. Even if you don’t plan on buying anything, the outing itself will bring you closer.
6. Go to the beach: Take a nice walk. Enjoy either a sunrise or sunset.
7. Enroll in a dance class: You and your mate can partake in dance lessons together. This can bring a great deal of intimacy.
8. Go bowling: Competing against each other in a friendly sport can bring an added element of excitement.
9. Go on a cruise: You deserve it! A nice vacation getaway will bring you back to when you first met. Getting away, and enjoying life is a way to build a healthy relationship.
10. Stay home and play games: You will see each other in a different light, one that allows you appreciate how intelligent your partner can be. That’s a for sure turn on!

The key is to build a healthy relationship. The main purpose is to always keep the relationship spicy. So, let’s get that date night going at least once a week, and enjoy every minute of your mates company. Do not forget to pray, and always stay focused on the prize, and that is to build a “Happy Healthier Relationship.”

None Lost Movement provides Education, Awareness and Resources for Healing through variety of services offered to ages 10 and up, throughout the Tampa Bay Area.

In 2014, Nicole Marchman and Shawn Saxton formed the None Lost Movement Ministry. The None Lost Movement is made up of a body of domestic violence survivors. Their desire is to help victims of childhood abuse and domestic violence. They want them to know that they are not alone.

Shawn Saxton said, “Together, we are here to bring education, awareness, and healing through our conferences, counseling services, and outreach programs to anyone, 14 and older, throughout the Tampa Bay Area.” The None Lost Movement operates under The Underground Network, in Tampa. The Underground Network and The None Lost Movement are 501C(3) organizations.

The None Lost Movement Ministry Origins

Originally, The None Lost Movement was a dream in Nicole Marchman’s mind. Having lost her mother in 2013 following years of abuse, Nicole felt she had to do something. She wanted to make a difference. She wanted to help others.

Nicole and Shawn met while assisting another person with their organization. Shawn was just what Nicole needed to push her to the next level. The two of them together made it happen. In 2014, The None Lost Movement was born. I had the pleasure of meeting both Nicole and Shawn before the release of my novel, Standing Firm. It was a great meeting and we formed a bond that I know helped people. Nicole and Shawn were great to work with.

The Current Makeup of The None Lost Movement

Shawn Saxton, President of None Lost Movement.

Shan Bruce, Vice President. Lease Yourmans, Director Services.

The None Lost Movement Continues to Provide the following:

• Individual & Family Counseling and Group counseling, Outreach Services
• Real Talks
• Teen Rap & Conferences
• Motivational Speaking to Educational Institutions
• Church’s & Community Domestic Violence Early Intervention Services.

Nicole Marchman – A Real Warrior

Nicole Marchman was a foster care alumnus. She was a survivor of sexual and physical abuse, as well as domestic violence.

Nicole’s Life

Most of Nicole’s life was spent dealing with various traumas. She endured the pain and anger from the hands of her biological parents, the rejection and betrayal from foster families that were supposed to provide her a safe haven and then finally survived the hurt and isolation brought on by an abusive husband. She became an expert at navigating and surviving the cycle of abuse. Nicole was the definition of resilient. Nicole was determined to better her life and ensure that her past did not predict her future. She found her voice and her message. Her story is inspirational and she was dedicated to sharing her testimony with others across the globe.

Education

Nicole earned her Bachelor of Social Work (BSW) from USF and her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from Florida State. As a Social Worker, Nicole traveled to children’s homes in the Czech Republic, Trinidad and Tobago to study their foster care system and compare it to the United States Child Welfare System.

Additionally, Nicole became a statewide, national and international advocate for foster children and lobbied for various changes within the foster care system in Washington, D.C.

She Changed Lives

Nicole specifically advocated for kinship care and better services for youth aging out of foster care. Nicole believes in paying it forward. She has proven this by furthering her passion for changing the lives of foster children. She accomplished this by becoming a foster parent, being a voice for victims of domestic violence and childhood abuse and their families by establishing None Lost Movement Ministry.

John 8:36 “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”
Over 241 years ago, the Declaration of Independence was adopted by the Continental Congress and it declared that the thirteen American colonies regarded themselves as a new nation, the United States of America, and were no longer part of the British Empire. Our forefathers were excited and happy because at last it was declared that we as a people were finally free! What excitement they must have felt on this 4th day of July in 1776! Independence Day, also referred to as the 4th of July, is commonly associated with fireworks, parades, barbecues, carnivals, fairs, picnics, concerts, baseball games, family reunions, and political speeches and ceremonies, in addition to various other public and private events celebrating the history, government, and traditions of the United States. If we would reflect back over 2k years ago, we’re reminded of the death, burial, and resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It is because of the events that took place on Calvary that we can experience true freedom! And whom the Son has set free is truly free indeed! Now, today really is a day of celebration! As you dine scrumptiously on some of your favorite holiday foods, as you enjoy family and friends, as you reminisce, or just relax, remember those who were instrumental in signing the Declaration of Independence, but never forget the greatest gift of all, and that is the gift of LOVE! God gave all He had when He sent His only Son that we might have life and have it more abundantly! Begin to enjoy the abundant life right here, right now, and appreciate the freedom that you have, not just because of the events that took place in 1776, but because God loves you, favors you, and it’s because of Christ that you are free indeed!

Are you hungry and on a budget? We’ve got a restaurant list that can help you out. If you visit one of these places, please come back and drop us a comment. We want to see how good our list is and what your thoughts are on the list. Here you go:

Top 10 Best Eats for Cheap

1) Federalist Pig – Located at 1654 Columbia Road, Washington DC, The Federalist Pig arguably  has the best BBQ in DC right now, hands down. I recommend trying the beef brisket, it’s great.

2) G Sandwich – I believe this restaurant has the best sandwiches in DC. G is a casual, contemporary Italian restaurant and sandwich shop with a full-service bar that is open daily for lunch and dinner. The all-day menu offers a full selection of of sandwiches, antipasti and pastas, such as G’s spiced baby goat sandwich, arancini and delicious mushroom ravioli, a specialty of Chef de Cuisine Elliot Drew. The 15-seat bar area is home to an Italian-inspired cocktail program. Each week, Chef Isabella presents Sunday Gravy, a recreation of his family’s traditional end-of-the-week feasts. Expect classics like crispy calamari, a classic Caesar salad, house-made spaghetti served with pomodoro sauce and a traditional meat gravy with meatballs, sausage and pork shoulder.

3) Bub and Pop’s – A close second for best sandwiches. As teenagers in South Philadelphia, Mae & Irv (Bub and Pop) Wagner fell in love and married in their early 20s. They both loved delicious home-style food, especially the delicacies of the 9th Street Italian Market. When Pop returned from WWII – a decorated hero – they bought a small corner grocery/deli in West Philly and created their own style Italian Hoagie and Braised Beef Brisket sandwiches. Almost 60 years later these sandwiches are the inspiration for our menu as their grandson Jonathan reinvents these classics.

4) Donburi – Japanese restaurant providing rice bowl dishes in a compact, minimalist space with counter seating. Rated 4.8/5 on Facebook and 4/5 on Yelp.

Daikaya – Daikaya is divided into two separate restaurant spaces, the ramen shop on 1F and izakaya on 2F. Daikaya Ramen opened its doors on February 14, 2013, and the second floor izakaya opened on March 28, 2013.

Our ramen shop serves Sapporo style ramen. Just like in Japan, our ramen shop is a fast paced place where diners can come in for a quick, satisfying bowl with a draft beer or cup of sake. Our recommendation is to sip the broth, slurp the noodles, and then dig into the roasted vegetables and broth-soaked meats. After three bowls, it becomes an addiction. Read more…

Tacos El Chilango – Probably my favorite tacos in DC. This unassuming storefront restaurant, a spin-off of a popular food truck, purveys tacos & aguas frescas. Rated 4.9 on Facebook and 7.4 on Foursquare.

Wiseguy NY Pizza – As close as DC gets to good New York, by-the-slice pizza.

Beef and Bread – I really like the roast beef sandwiches at this restaurant. Freshly roasted meats & interesting toppings fill buns at this corner counter-serve spot.

Red Apron Butcher – Located at Union Market, Red Apron Butcher is one of the best burgers in DC (the sandwiches are great too). Our craft is defined by an inimitable catalog of nearly 80 original artisanal products – all of which are 100% handmade and deliberately produced in small batches designed not merely to mimic traditional or familiar foods, but rather to introduce both new and innovative flavors inspired by old world technique.

Chaia – Vegetarian tacos may sound like a terrible idea, but these are actually really good. Truly driven by building a better food system, close friends Suzanne Simon and Bettina Stern founded Chaia to share the beautiful, flavorful food they love to cook for their family and friends with the larger community. Inspired by their work as food writers and educators, their love of Mexican cooking and their roots – Bettina grew up in New York City and Suzanne hails from the Midwest – Chaia’s “farm to taco” is a unique relationship between farmers and urban street-style food. First in the kitchen, then at the farmers market and now a brick-and-mortar shop in Georgetown, Chaia offers seasonal, plant-based tacos, sides and natural drinks in a stylish, casual setting. We are dedicated to good food. Serving delicious, handmade food + drinks with great attention to detail. Seasonality celebrating vegetables at their very best.

November 11, 2018

At the last minute, the secret location is revealed to thousands of friends who have all been patiently waiting to learn where “Dîner en Blanc” will take place. Thousands of people, dressed all in white, and conducting themselves with the greatest decorum, elegance, and etiquette, all meet for a mass “chic picnic” in a public space.

Over the course of the evening, guests experience the beauty and value of their city’s public spaces by participating in the unexpected. Beyond the spectacle and elegance of the dinner itself, guests are brought together from diverse backgrounds by good taste and a love of beauty. Le Dîner en Blanc recalls the elegance and glamor of high French society, and guests engage one another, knowing that they are taking part in a truly magical event. There are no disruptions: no car traffic, no pedestrian traffic—only amazed and astonished looks from passersby observing the scene before them. And participants, like spectators, wonder whether it’s all not a dream…

Read more at https://orlando.dinerenblanc.com/about

Le Dîner en Blanc^® began as a strictly word-of-mouth event. Today, it has grown to rely on the Internet and social media to communicate with its members and others who are curious about the event. Although the technology behind this fantastic event may have changed over the years, the principles fueling it have not; guests continue to gather at a secret location with the sole purpose of sharing a gourmet meal with good friends at the heart of one of their city’s most beautiful locations.

What are the key rules of the event?

Le Dîner en Blanc^® is quite different from other special events. The evening takes place in a crowded public place that was not designed for such a purpose. Dîner en Blanc must necessarily remain controlled in order to continue holding future events.

• In order to participate, guests must be a member or be sponsored by a member from the previous year, or they must sign up to official website’s waiting list.
• Once confirmed, each guests’ participation in the event becomes mandatory, regardless of weather conditions, as Dîner en Blanc is a rain or shine event.
• Participants arrive and then depart in unison by chartered bus or organized public transportation.
• They take all of their belongings with them at the end of the night, including leftovers and trash, and they leave the site as clean as it was upon arrival.

Must-bring items?

• A table and two white chairs.
• A picnic basket including a white tablecloth and napkins, gourmet meal items, cutlery, dishware, and glassware.
• Wine or Champagne, if allowed. Beer and hard alcohol is prohibited.

 Dress Code

• Participants must wear white (and white only) and be dressed elegantly.
• Originality is always encouraged as long as it stays stylish and denotes taste.

For consideration in The Lyfe Magazine, please fill out questionnaire below and submit.

Change Makers 2024

WHO WE ARE

The Lyfe Magazine is the voice and soul of men and women. It started as a magazine that celebrated Florida’s unique style, beauty, culture, inspiration and achievements. Righteous Productions extended the reach of the magazine to cover Washington, D.C., Maryland, Virginia, Texas, West Virginia, Colorado, Ohio, Georgia, New Mexico, New York and California.

The Lyfe Magazine affirms its identity and shows its readers how to live life and have fun within the bounds of Christianity. Our editorial content, promotion, and brand extensions communicate the appeal of a luxury lifestyle with an authoritative voice and sophisticated design. Our editorial content highlights the best in Christian living, finance, home décor, automotive, technology, fashion, jewelry, fitness, health and wellness, travel, sports, entertainment, and arts and culture.

The Lyfe Magazine affords luxury purveyors the broadest access to a distinctive group of male and female consumers. The Lyfe Magazine is a multimedia venture which provides marketers with traditional and alternative ways to reach our audience at home, work, and play.

Disclaimer

Thank you for your interest in being featured in The Lyfe Magazine or on The Lyfe Live!

We appreciate you taking the time to complete this interview questionnaire. While your submission provides valuable insights, completing the questionnaire does not guarantee selection for an interview or a feature in The Lyfe Magazine or on The Lyfe Live.

Our editorial team carefully considers all submissions based on a variety of factors, including the interviewee’s story, its relevance to our audience, and alignment with our current editorial themes.

We encourage you to submit your best work! We look forward to learning more about you.

Here are some additional details you may find helpful:

• You can find more information about The Lyfe Magazine and The Lyfe Live on our website at https://thelyfemagazine.com/who-we-reach/.
• We recommend following us on social media for updates on upcoming features.

Thank you again for your interest!

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One of the 70’s Best – The Ohio Players

Overview

It was early 1976 when I heard the song “Love Rollercoaster”. Even as a young 13-year-old I knew this song was go to be great. I didn’t know what they were singing about but I knew the music was awesome.

Shortly after that eventful day I heard the entire “Honey” album which included “Love Rollercoaster”. Each song was impressive to say the least. I loved them all. They had me dancing and singing for hours. After hearing this album I went back and listed to “Skin Tight” and “Fire”. Both told me that the Ohio Players would be a force to be reckoned with.

Background

The Ohio Players came on the scene as the Ohio Untouchables in the late 50s. However, it wasn’t until they signed with Mercury records in 1974 that they hit national success. It was also at that time they also established the lineup that made them a success.

The original group (The Ohio Untouchables) consisted of singer/guitarist Robert Ward, bassist Marshall “Rock” Jones, saxophonist/guitarist Clarence “Satch” Satchell, drummer Cornelius Johnson, and trumpeter/trombonist Ralph “Pee Wee” Middlebrooks.

Only Jones, Satch and Pee Wee were present in the 1974 lineup. Completing the “new look” Ohio Players was the legendary singer/guitarist Leroy “Sugarfoot” Bonner, drummer James “Diamond” Williams, keyboardist Billy Beck and trombonist Marvin Pierce.

The new Ohio Players established a sound unmatched by any other group. Their music was known for the driving horns, strong drum lines and that “Sugarfoot” voice. They showed themselves as a group of respected and talented musicians. They also established a consistency with their provocative album covers.

A Lucky Young Man

In 1979, I had the chance to meet “Pee Wee” in St. Petersburg, Florida. Unfortunately, it was at that time the group lost some of its members. “Pee Wee” was very down to earth and took the time to talk to me and my step-brother. However, “Sugarfoot” was devastated over the group’s breakup and didn’t talk to us. I came to understand later why but as a teenager I definitely wanted to meet him.

Summary

The success of the Ohio Players in the 70s certainly made them one of the music industry’s premiere groups. Between 1972 and 1976 they had three platinum albums (“Skin Tight”, “Fire” and “Honey”) and three gold albums (“Pain”, “Contradiction” and “Gold”). Five of those were in a row.

“Fire” and “Love Rollercoaster” were their biggest selling singles. Both songs made number one on the US charts. Add to that “Who’d She Coo” and “Sweet Sticky Thing” which made number one on the R&B charts and you can easily see why this group is considered one of the best.

This group’s 70’s sound has gone down in music history. In 2013, they were inducted into the Rhythm and Blues Hall of Fame. They will long be remembered for their talent, powerful drums, and yes, don’t forget the album covers.

The one person in life, who rarely takes time for self and is always doing for everyone else deserves a break every now and again. Mom, who else! Here are a few great ideas, no matter her age or income, that doesn’t break the bank and allows your mom to travel, especially on her special day, Mother’s Day!

Cruise Time!

Cruises are fun packed and all-inclusive. Well, you can purchase an adult beverage plan as an add-on. Moms love to cruise because she can enjoy time away from home, sailing on the waves and visiting different destinations, without too much money being spent. The best part is the kids can come too, and if mom needs a little time away from the kids to enjoy alone, all major cruise lines come with a KID ZONE! Talk about a great deal.

Spa Getaway!

Now, this is a treat exclusively for a mom. Pack mom up for a couple of days and send her off to enjoy some R&R at a Spa Resort. These are amazing and she will come back rejuvenated and will love you even more for giving her some time away to relax. There are so many resorts out there but Arizona, is known to have some of the best spa resorts out there. Take your pick. If a spa getaway is out of budget, get to your local salon, where she can get a massage, facial, manicure, pedicure, wax, tan, sauna, and/or mud bath or body wrap. A few hours at your local salon, she will feel like a brand-new woman.

Wine Country!

Hey, what mom has not acquired a taste for a little wine, especially after becoming a mom. Book her a trip to Napa with her best gal pals where she will enjoy wine tastings in the Napa Valley Hills of California. Not to mention, the beautiful scenery. She will sleep well after a night of wine tasting. If wine country is out of budget, sign her up for a wine of the month club that she can enjoy. I am sure she will appreciate that night out wine tasting.

Foodie Trip!

Jet set to New Orleans, LA for some of the best food on the planet; Cajun everything and everywhere. Some of the best chefs are in the Big Easy; but, there is also great food in other places, too, including Memphis, TN, which is known to have some of the best BBQ in the U.S., not to mention, the BBQ competition that takes place during Memphis’ biggest time of the year—Memphis in May International Festival-where Tom Lee Park is filled with music, and pop-ups of all kinds of restaurants and shops to enjoy the entire month. Head on down to Beale Street at night and go to Wet Willie’s to enjoy an adult beverage and watch the Beale Street Flippers perform or go into one of the many bars for some live music-especially B.B. King’s. You are guaranteed to have a great time.

The End of the Day

At the end of the day, mothers make the world go around and it is important that we take the time to treat them, especially knowing the selflessness they give to us each day. Just a small token of love and appreciation, send your mom on a getaway that she will always remember and be thankful for.

By Gerald C. Anderson, Sr. and Beryl Anthony Brackett

Contributed to by Renata M. Smith

Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash

Love is a tricky emotion because it takes two hearts to strike a chord simultaneously to make love come to fruition. When this fails to happen, a person may be left behind and fall into a tangled web of secretly loving from afar. The situation can be excruciatingly painful for any person.

For this article secret love means loving someone you cannot be with. It’s either unrequited love or love where one person hasn’t told the other person their true feelings.

Reasons for Loving Someone from Afar

• Sometimes you meet someone you feel is perfect for you, but they don’t feel the same toward you. In this situation, you could find yourself loving them from afar. Sometimes you remain friends with the person, hoping that someday they will change their mind and see the potential relationship as you do. However, most of the time, the love never flourishes, and you find yourself sad, depressed or hurt.
• Another reason people love from a distance is that they cannot be with the person they want. The person you love may have a significant other, they may be married, or they may not want to be in a relationship now.

Choosing to love someone from afar is not a suggested tactic to do. If you choose to take this road, you should back off to avoid getting hurt. It’s always good to protect your heart. However, if you choose to do so, here is some ways you can accomplish this.

How to Love Someone from Afar While Protecting Your Heart

• Allow Your Head to Take Charge. Sometimes your heart will want to lead the way. Therefore, you should figure out your true feelings towards this person and determine any potential red flags. The difficulty here is we tend to imagine the person in the best of situations and overlook the bright red flags. Then, if you can be in a relationship with them, it is often nothing like you imagined.
• Don’t Do Things in a Rush. While you may be tempted to share your feelings with the person, it’s not always a good thing to do, and sometimes it may not work. One way to protect your heart is to avoid rushing things; as you may regret it later.
• Stay Away. If you choose to love someone from afar, don’t see them too much because you will only get hurt. The person may break your heart without trying to do so. Remember, in their mind you are friends, but in yours you want more. Keeping your distance from them will help protect you from hurt.

When you choose to love someone from afar, remember this is not a technique for winning someone over or persuading them to love you back. In fact, loving them from afar often distorts reality. In your mind, you have created the person you want them to be instead of how they actually are.

Read Reverends Gordon and Marilyn Oliver journey of love and faith in Christ!